The album in question

Oh man, where/when did I get this album? Why did I get this album? I’ll eventually remember the answer for the former question, but for the latter I totally got it nailed down: I know who Giorgio Moroder is, and I certainly know who Joe Esposito is, I have been partially raised by movies after all. I guess I couldn’t resist the combination of these two fuckers and said, “ah what the fuck, why not.” The album in question is Solitary Men, by Giorgio Moroder and Joe Esposito, the reissue that came out in 2013 or so. Now, if you know me then you know that I like me some cheese, whether it be on my burgers or some b movie, and this album is packed with so much cheese that I fear it might make me sick. There are a few songs that border on parody, like “A Love Affair,” which should’ve been in a terrible rom com, and Diamond Lizzy, which is like a joke track from GTA Vice City. There is also an incredible sorta disco version of Knights in White Satin that should be in a montage about doing cocaine. One of the redeeming qualities of this album is the sheer amount of music that would be perfect for a montage; need a track to drive around at night in the rain, Solitary Man, yeah the lyrics are uh, well… ”I was born a solitary man, solitaire was always my game.“; How about walking around somewhere swinging at night, just after it rains, Washed in Neon Light; slow dancing and loving at night with someone with big 80s hair, Show Me the Night, especially if it’s raining; just broke up with someone and are now riding the bus, it’s about to rain, then you got To Turn to Stone. If you know me then you know I like a good montage song. Another cool feature about this CD is that it comes with a bunch of extra traks. There’s a great remix of Chase, the theme from Midnight Express, it sounds like the kind of thing that you’re listening to at a bar real late at night and doing shots to, and you know there’s gonna be a bad time in the morning, but damnit you are having fun now. I was sitting there listening to this CD and wondering why the hell I keep listening to it, but it wasn’t until I heard the instrumental version of Too Hot To Touch, one of the more lactose laden songs on the album, that I realized that I like it because the music sounds like something from a good Sonic the Hedgehog video game. There’s also 2 versions of American Dream, one for the training montage and the other for the end credits that start rolling over the the victory pose. You totally know what I mean. The cover is kinda cool, it seems to be collaged polaroids of G.M. and J.E. hanging out by the pool, at night, of course they aren’t swimming they are just very cooly dressed in almost suits. I guess they are being solitary men together or something. If anything this is one of the most motivating CDs I’ve heard because you can’t have a montage if all you do hang out listening to albums from the 80s that you forgot you even had. I guess you can, but it’s not a very good one and how is it suppose to defeat the soviets?

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