I am in league with Satan already

Have you seen The Witch? It’s about some pilgrims getting cast out of the village, or whatever, and then they gotta hack out on their own. Point is that shit goes down hill in a fucked up manner. The trailer makes it seem much more “horror” than it actually is, not that it’s a goddamn comedy, but it’s not scary. Not scary to me. But I am in league with Satan already, so you know whose side I am on. It’s weird, as in “1. involving or suggesting the supernatural; unearthly or uncanny.”It’s claustrophobic as fuck, the house seems to get smaller as the movie goes on, and the outdoors closes around you like a rusty trap. The movie is really gray though, almost goddamn dim, it totally fits but I felt like I was squinting a lot. But other than it I recommend it, it’s metal as hell, but not like thrash, more like atmospheric black metal that leaves everyone except us sworn to the black feeling uncomfortable. Man, I hope that movie gave the normal people nightmares.

The coolest trailer I saw was for Hardcore Henry, formerly just known as Hardcore. It’s that first person pov action movie that look like… it looks like this:

Oh fuck! IT LOOKS LIKE AN AWESOME VIDEO GAME. I almost don’t want to watch this movie because it’ll make it itchy because I can’t control what’s going on. Video games have ruined my life! Eh sorta. Well, ruin is such a strong word… I love a good trailer, I like them so much that I often say that trailers are the best part of going to the movies. I would gladly pay like 5 bucks to watch 2 hrs of trailers. This trailer was like made for me, it features weird looking people, explosions, chases, fist fighting, gun fights, stunts, and Queen! So does Suicide Squad, but this look like so much more fun! Mostly because S.S. is all “Ooooh look how edgy we’re being!” Just that “We’re bad guys” line, bah.

The only other previews I remember are for Purge 3, which seems okay, those street scenes look cool, they got a guillotine! And The Conjuring 2, the best part of that one was a bit where a is in a room with all of these crosses in it and they all start turning upside down and something jumps out of the dark, it’s pretty metal.

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