You know how much gorillas cost?

According to the Indian Express a monkey wandered into a jewellery store and stole a bunch of shit. Now, if you told me that the first thing that would come to mind would be, “It’s gotta be part of a heist.” And of course the Indian Express goes in that direction as well, “As hilarious as the video is, there are known instances of robbers operating with trained animals to commit crimes across India…”  Which shows what kind of crazy fucking place India is. The video is pretty good. Not as good at that jaguar rampaging through a school (also India), but hey a monkey is committing the same crime as the Pink Panthers, what more do you want?

There was also a monkey knocking out what NPR says is the whole of Kenya’s power grid, which is made more impressive because it survived. Wait, isn’t that Electro’s whole deal in the last Spiderman movie? But with a damned dirty ape?

I was gonna put up that whole Cincinnati gorilla story, but it doesn’t fit in with the general Year of the Ape themed posts I got going on. I’d rather highlight monkey stories that are comedic or positive as opposed to tragic. Nothing is sadder than having to shoot a gorilla, except maybe a clown, in full garb, getting broken up with in public by the person they thought they were their true love. What a waste though. You know how much gorillas cost? First of all, that gorilla was part of some kind of an endangered species, which means that there aren’t a lot to begin with, supply and demand etc. Second of all it’s a gorilla and the upkeep cost alone is fucking bananas.

 

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