a solider on the front lines of the war against xmas

Just yesterday, in a moment of self censorship, or maybe tact. Perhaps just out of not wanting to be a bummer I erased a whole section calling into question the story about a terminally ill boy dying in Santa Clause’s (what other Santa?) arms. It was along the lines of:

This is all too convenient! Who talks like that? No one talks like that! Look at this

“They say I’m gonna die,’ he told me (this is the professionally trained Santa talking). ‘How can I tell when I get to where I’m going?’

“I said, ‘Can you do me a big favor?’

“He said, ‘Sure!’

“When you get there (HEAVEN), you tell ’em you’re Santa’s Number One elf, and I know they’ll let you in.”

“That sounds so made up! Only a sucker would believe that,” I typed, a solider on the front lines of the war against xmas, you’d think listening to satanic black metal at a stupefying album but it was Ryo Fukui’s Mellow Dream! A day later and the whole story has been brought into question. Here’s a link to the disclaimer article that state that the Knoxville News Sentinel no longer stands behind the original article.  Here’s the original article, now with an addendum on top.

Worst case scenario, Santa is caught lying, we get all get a good laugh, and he’s appointed to trump’s cabinet as a general against the war against xmas. You can’t even trust fucking Santa Clause nowadays.

The Kinks – Father Christmas

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